Nice to meet you!

I have been blogging for a few months, and I realized that I never introduced myself! Thank you all for sticking with me LOL My name is Shanta Wilkerson. I am a native of Southeast Alabama, and a UABirmingham alumnae. I have a three-year-old son, and I operate two businesses while attending Benedictine University online where I am pursuing my MBA.

This blog is a fusion of great information with topics ranging from product development to entrepreneurship, from faith to personal development, from my personal struggles to professional triumphs. This is the place to find out what comes next for Blessed Body Brand and Prosperity Legacy, LLC, and I assure you that it is AMAZING! Stay tuned to see what comes next!! It's nice to meet you!

Shanta

What will you do with your days?

"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why." ~Mark Twain

 

 I have seen this quote many times over the last several months. In the last two days, I've seen it at least 6 times! We are all on this rock for a reason, and living life with purpose is the best way to live! However, balance is the key to happiness! This brings me to today's topic: bucket lists. Once you have identified your purpose, work towards accomplishing it, but don't forget to enjoy the journey. Joi over at Peace Of My Love (Follow the link to view my inspiration for this post) recently wrote about her bucket list, and it truly made me think about what I want to do on this planet before my last day! Here's my current list (it could change at any moment)!!

1. Travel to Ghana to see the local culture and how the old ways meet with the new ways.
2. Assist in making Shea butter and black soap.
3. Make real Castile soap in Italy.
4. Take my son to a Day out with Thomas!
5. Plan, schedule, and invite guests to my son's birthday party IN ADVANCE (sorry baby). This year he's turning four, so it's a must!!!
6. Go on a cruise & walk about in a bikini.
7. Be bikini ready at all times.
8. Drive a race car.
9. Learn French and Spanish Fluently.
10. Run a 5K.
11. Meet and marry the right man for me, think Teacake and Janie without the rabies.
12. Have an outdoor lunch or dinner date.
13. Yoga in India!
14. Sing Karaoke without being terrified (I'm always nervous!).
15. Write several bestselling books and a few moderately selling books (LOL).
16. Run a majorly successful crowdsourcing campaign (coming soon).
17. Be the "keynote" speaker in front of a large audience of other professional men and women as the authority of natural hair, natural personal care products (I shy away from the term "cosmetics" here), and business development in minority communities.
18. Enjoy the ride.

Some of these items are FRIVOLOUS, and I have so much more that I could add!! Your list should be fun and forward. Don't do anything that could distract you from your purpose, but be sure to make it memorable! I encourage each of you to make a bucket list and add it in the comments below! Your list should evolve as you evolve, and as you accomplish an item replace it with a new one. Let's see those lists!

Happy New Year: 2015

WOW! I can't believe that 2014 is already done! It brings to mind the plans and goals I started it with. Have I accomplished what I set out to do? Did I get sidetracked? Was I successful? The answer for me: How can you tell? I always have a vision for my life. I have plenty of ideas, and plenty of dreams. However, the mistake that I have made nearly every year: not writing them down and holding myself accountable for reaching each goal/milestone! This year, I'M READY! This year I am equipped with a vision board and a MAP (master action plan)!

My vision board is a challenge for me to be bolder, to focus, to kick fear in the face, and stop chasing my dreams. The challenge this year is to CAPTURE MY VISIONS!!! You should join me! Take out paper and pen, go to the dollar tree and buy a foam poster board, and start making a list of what you want in your life. On your poster board, print or cut out pictures from a magazine of items that you want and paste them there. Start living on purpose with purpose. I learned that last lesson from a group of very wise women.

In my MAP, are all the things that I want for myself professionally: the direction that I want to take my businesses in. I have so many ideas that I will be executing this year! I am so excited to start the process of sharing each milestone with you!! This is phenomenal guys!!

Another lesson that I am learning: Make room in the physical realm for what is in store for you in the spiritual realm. Prepare your physical home to receive all the good that the Universe has in store for you. Stop blocking your growth! From this day forward, DO NOT HOLD YOURSELF BACK!! Reach out and grab everything that is in reserve for you! Make the decision that 2015 is the start of your greatest you! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Stumompreneurs Unite Part 2

Stumompreneurs (student, mother, entrepreneurs) are individuals who attend higher education institutions, run businesses, and raise a child or children simultaneously! We are a group of active and highly motivated individuals! As a stumompreneur time management is of the utmost importance (I know because I still struggle with it!!). We have to multitask and be able to do at least 3 things at once, but how can we manage to do all this highly important, life altering, necessary... STUFF! We must PRIORITIZE!

Yesterday we discussed the most important job of the stumompreneur, MOM. Today we will address the other two important facets of ourselves.

ENTREPRENEUR: Your business is your baby, and if it's a start-up... it's a newborn and requires constant care! Like a child, it takes several years to be able to stand up and pee on it's own and remember to lift the seat or wipe it off as it were. You have to be consistent here as well. Know your industry. Know who's prominent in your industry. Read about your industry. Talk about your industry. If you are a product creator, make some great products and market your products. If you offer services, tell the world and market you! Don't be cheap! You're in business to make an impact on the world and make money. This effort keeps you away from your family. That time can't be recovered, and it's expensive! Charge what you're worth and charge for your time. Knowing your industry will be a HUGE help here!

STUDENT: As a student striving for a post secondary or post baccalaureate degree, you have to be motivated and passionate about what you're studying! If you are studying an area that is directly related to your business or business goals, you are in the money! You can multitask and complete business and student assignments at the same time! Know your course schedule. I am attending Benedictine University online, and I know that the week begins on Monday. Initial discussion posts are due Wednesday. Written assignments are due on Sunday along with discussion responses. I also know at the beginning of each week how much reading, research, and studying that I need to do so that I can budget that time in as well.

Stumompreneurs Unite Part 1

Stumompreneurs (student, mother, entrepreneurs) are individuals who attend higher education institutions, run businesses, and raise a child or children simultaneously! We are a group of active and highly motivated individuals! As a stumompreneur time management is of the utmost importance (I know because I still struggle with it!!). We have to multitask and be able to do at least 3 things at once, but how can we manage to do all this highly important, life altering, necessary... STUFF! We must PRIORITIZE!

MOM: Our first priority is to family: our children, our spouses, and ourselves! Individuals outside of your household are not included into this category for consideration. Set a schedule. I know, it is so cliche and darn near impossible, but it will save you a lot of time and tension! I have a three-year-old son and a four-year-old niece. They are both currently home-schooled, so scheduling is of the essence! Be consistent with your schedule. Know what activities are coming up and make them a regular part of your week/month so that your schedule is not derailed. This includes Barnes & Noble story time, library outings, days at the park/zoo/gardens, whatever you want to do with your children.

Do not neglect spending quality time with your husband/wife!! This is not just about sex, although in marriage this area should not be left unattended without cause. Do things with your spouse: talk to each other with everything turned off, hold hands, kiss, do things that remind you why you fell in love with each other (especially if that includes watching anime and playing Sonic on Sega Genesis!!). Set a schedule for this. Scheduling does not make you a bad mother/wife! It makes you a superhero!

Spend time with your entire family as well. Children need to see mom and dad interacting happily with love and care! Again, turn off the world and enjoy each other. Most importantly, DO NOT NEGLECT YOURSELF! Self-care is the only way to stay sane and keep moving! Soak in the tub while your husband watches the kids, read a book, paint your nails, eat snacks ALONE, exercise, play music and dance around (my favorite), do absolutely nothing while the house is quiet at nap time, and most importantly CLEANING UP DOES NOT COUNT AS SELF-CARE! Do something exclusively for you!

Friends and other relatives are very important, but not more important than your family. After all, they are the reason you have this title and chose to do the work that you do. Stay tuned for part 2 where discuss our titles of student and entrepreneur.

Domestic Violence

Domestic violence. Two words that strike fear into the hearts of many survivors and victims are domestic violence or domestic abuse. Domestic abuse/violence occurs when you as an individual feel threatened, demeaned, or neglected by a person that you love in your home or who holds an unnecessary amount of power over your thoughts. Sometimes it can feel like domestic terrorism. Ex: Your husband/wife yells at and demeans you in private. They tell you that you're worthless and no one else will ever want you. They tell you all of your flaws with in depth descriptions, and never praise you for anything that you do, but to everyone else, he/she is an amazing person. They cheat. They lie. They don't provide physically, monetarily, or emotionally. You can't talk to them about anything. You edit your words before they come out of your mouth. You can't exist without their permission.

Domestic violence/abuse doesn't usually start at the beginning of a relationship, not outright. It usually begins with verbal abuse, snide comments, pitying the abuser, and manipulation. The abuser has to break the victim down and create a space inside of him/her that only they can fill. This normally occurs because of the abuser's own insecurities in themselves. The abuse builds. The occurrences increase. If you have a friend or family member that pays attention, like I did, by now they've picked up on these tendencies. It doesn't take long if you are outside and you care. Your family member or friend know what the abuser is about. They'll try to tell you to leave, but you're in a mental and emotional stronghold.

You don't think that you can leave, but THERE IS NEVER A SITUATION IN WHICH YOU MUST STAY AND ACCEPT THE ABUSE! I repeat THERE IS NEVER A SITUATION IN WHICH YOU MUST STAY AND ACCEPT THE ABUSE! If there are children involved, THERE IS NEVER A SITUATION IN WHICH YOU MUST STAY AND ACCEPT THE ABUSE. If you are not the breadwinner, THERE IS NEVER A SITUATION IN WHICH YOU MUST STAY AND ACCEPT THE ABUSE. If you have no family where you live, THERE IS NEVER A SITUATION IN WHICH YOU MUST STAY AND ACCEPT THE ABUSE. If you think you have to save him/her, you can't. Stop trying. If your love was enough, you wouldn't be in this situation. THERE IS NEVER A SITUATION IN WHICH YOU MUST STAY AND ACCEPT THE ABUSE. You can leave any time you want because you are worth more. You deserve more, and you should allow yourself to demand more! Never let another person's insecurities keep you from loving yourself!!

If you are the friend or family member of a domestic abuse/violence victim, do  not tell them to leave! DO NOT TELL THEM TO LEAVE! Some abusers will coerce the victim to stay with them and cut you off if you tell the victim to leave or the victim will cut you off for being unsupportive of the greatest love of his/her life. This is the last thing that you need to happen. You can support the victim by listening, praying, and just being there. Let them know that no matter what they decide, they will always have you. It is not an easy task. My sister was ready to come put me in a straight jacket and haul me out of my relationship by force, but she just listened and advised. It took me five years and nine months to leave. I made the decision to leave three separate times, but I didn't know about 211. He doesn't know to this day that I packed mine and my sons bags three separate times to leave, but I finally go tout before things got decidedly physical.

To the families:

• Ask questions without judgement or condemnation. Ex: What do you want for yourself? How does abuser fit into that picture? Is he/she supportive of your efforts? Does he/she make you feel valuable and loved?
• Pray, meditate, fast, or consult the universe, whatever you do.
• Tell thme that THERE IS NEVER A SITUATION IN WHICH THEY MUST STAY AND ACCEPT THE ABUSE, but do not demand that they leave.
• Remind them to dial 211 if they need help. This is the United Way helpline. They'll connect them to the right shelter or organization to get them safely out of the situation.

To the victims:

• THERE IS NEVER A SITUATION IN WHICH YOU MUST STAY AND ACCEPT THE ABUSE.
• Dial 211 for help. If you are placed in shelter housing, they will give you all the tools that you need to get on your feet. They assist you with finding a job, housing, pressing charges or getting protection orders, and counseling. They can also assist with child support and relocating you to another city or state or back to your family.
• Don't cut off your family and friends. They love and value you more than you do right now. They just don't want to come to your funeral.
• Be mindful not to fall into another abusive relationship. Take time to rediscover yourself, and love yourself so much that a (wo)man will be forced to meet your love minimum in order to be with you.

These are my thoughts based on my experiences, and it is important to note that I did not list an exhaustive list of scenarios or  outcomes, but the most obvious and terrifying consequences are death to the victim and psychological damage to the children if any are involved. Please seek counsel if you are in an abusive or toxic relationship, and get out if you can while you can before it ends without your input.